Love Languages

We had the privileged of hearing Theresa Fightmaster speak at our last meeting on the 5 Love Languages, an inspired talk from the book, The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.  Each person receives love differently, so it's important to figure out what really fills your husband or kiddos "Love Tank."  Each person will probably need all of these Love Languages to be spoken to them, but some will be more important to the individual then other ones.  Here is a list below:

5 Love Languages

Touch (Describes your child/husband):
Receive hugs, kisses, high fives, cuddles, asks to be carried, wrestling, tag, climbs in your lap.

Words (Describes your child/husband):  Likes for others to tell them they did a good job.

Quality Time (Describes your child/husband):  Loves to do things with you: watch a movie, yard work, go out to eat, run errands, play a game.  Tries to get your undivided attention.  Wants to sit next to you or have you watch them while they're playing.

Gifts (Describes your child/husband):  Feels good when someone gives them something.  Enjoys a special present or surprise.  Enjoys birthdays presents, surprise treats, earning a treat, having their favorite food made for them.

Service (Describes your child/husband):  Likes it when people do nice things for them: helping with chores, school projects, driving places, making meals or snacks.

 A child with a full love tank = a healthy, emotionally stable child.

How do I know what my spouse's/child's Love Language is?

1. Observe how your child/spouse expresses love to you.
2.Observe how your child/spouse expresses love to others.
3. Listen to what your child/spouse requests most often.
4. Notice what your child/spouse most frequently complains about.
5. Give your child/spouse a choice between two options.


The 5 Love Languages are a wonderful tool to use in learning to love our family well.  We are so grateful to Theresa for sharing her knowledge with us!  

Wifehood- Sarah Longoria

I.                    Intro- Thank you for having me!  The thought of teaching you all about wifehood is humbling because the only authority on the matter I have comes straight from the Word and what God has taught me, usually through the painful refiners fire.  I will forever be a work in progress! 

A.      Travis and I’s story- Met in junior high. My insecurity during my dad's illness created unhealthy dependence on Travis to meet my needs.

II.                  How God has moved my heart to a wifehood focus instead of a marriage focus.  We think of marriage, in the Biblical sense, as husband and wife loving each other well, which glorifies God.

A.      Our marriages are fertile ground for God’s glory and our growth, but sometimes it won’t come through mutual efforts. The one in our marriages we’re accountable for is ourselves and how we love, regardless of the way we are loved in return.  We are all sinful, imperfect women married to sinful, imperfect men and it is Gospel love alone that gives any of us any hope.  Gospel love is self-sacrificing not self seeking.          

1.      God gives us many directives on how we can best love each other in marriage, and He is certainly glorified when the two people in a marriage are living in obedience to them, but I would venture to say that He gives us far more instruction as individuals on loving Him and others (our husbands being one of the most important “others” we love).

2.      Some of us are married to dynamic spiritual leaders, others of us to men who lead more quietly or who are in a dry place in their walks, and still others to men who don’t know the Lord.  Each of our marriages and husbands is unique (different strengths and weaknesses).No matter who your husband is or where he’s at, you can live in full obedience to God’s calling on YOU to love him with the love the Lord has given you as a daughter of Him!  When we abide, He provides!

a.      1 Peter 3:1-2- “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, ² when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” (be careful of the martyr mentality! Don’t consider yourself better than your husband, that’s pride and that’s sin!)

b.      Matthew 22:36-39- ““Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. (When we love God with our whole heart, HE enables us to love our neighbors as ourselves)

c.       Romans 12:9-21 (think specifically about loving your husband as I read this)- “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. ¹⁰ Love one another with brotherly affection. (He is your brother in Christ!) Outdo one another in showing honour.  Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality (to your husband!). Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight (pride).  Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honourable in the sight of all.  If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all (your husband!).  Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

3.      To reiterate what Jason shared last weekend and to echo what Courtney shared in her mom minute, when we abide in the Lord, when we go to Him first for ALL our needs, He is faithful to meet them.  No other person or role can satisfy!  Truly living this frees us to love others without expectation for something in return.

B.      Expectations lead to disappointment when our hope is misplaced on the wrong person/thing, who are we counting on to meet our needs, to fill us?

1.      John 6:35- “Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

2.      John 4:13-14- “ Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again,  but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

3.      How my expectations of Travis have torn him down instead of building him up.  (how and how much he communicates, his spiritual leadership of our family, his level of helping around the house, the way he parents our kids, etc…)

a.       How does it feel on the flip side of the coin, when someone has you constantly feeling like you don’t measure up and you’re never cutting it, does that motivate or deflate you?

b.      I think it’s easier for us to live in the truth that friends, extended family and even our children are not made to satisfy us, and although we may say that we don’t expect our husbands to fully satisfy us, our hearts often believe differently as evidenced by our struggles in marriage.

C.      Fighting the 50/50, “you complete me” cultural prescription.

1.      Think about the most common reasons people give for divorce.  It’s often about what the other person isn’t doing right or about how the other person isn’t meeting their needs. (if you are sitting in this room and have been divorced, know that God has enough grace to meet you where you are at and grow you from here! There are also cases where a spouse has taken the decision out of your hands and left.  Please know that every women in this room is loved by Jesus right where she is at and every single one of us is nothing without Jesus, we can do nothing good apart from Him.)

2.      “What if marriage isn’t designed to make us happy but rather to make us Holy?”- From Sacred Marriage.  What I would add to that is, what if our greatest joy in marriage can only be found when we stop looking to it and our husbands to fill us up.

D.     How do we get there? NOT by trying harder to be better!  We start, flat on our faces before Jesus, confessing our sin and begging Him to fill us.  Loving our husbands more selflessly will be a fruit of bathing in the sacrificial love of Jesus for us!

III.                Closing: The rollarcoaster journey of our recent decision to move to Switzerland and how God continues to refine me in all these areas.  Please pray for us!

·         I asked Travis if he had anything he’d like to add to what I prepared to share with you all.  I was thinking it might be something profound that I had missed, but maybe profoundly simple?  He said, “a little sex goes a long way to make a man feel loved”. J

                                                      Table Talk

1.      What are some ways you believe God is wooing you to be satisfied in Him alone?

2.      What are some ways you have bought the 50/50, “you complete me” prescriptions for a happy marriage and how is God challenging you to love your husband more selflessly?

3.      Do you have anything to share with your sisters about how the sin of pride has caused you to belittle, nag, or look down on your husband?

4.      How can we be praying for you as a wife?

"Day in the Life" Panel

Highlights:

Jill
-She has one day a week that's her cleaning day, helps her get it done with focus.
-She tries to have a special activity planned for her kids during dinner prep time to lessen her stress.
-One of her struggles is giving too many "just a minutes", she wants to make time for more focused time with the kids.
-They try to do devotions over meal times, she wants to be more intentional and consistent with this.
-Jill encouraged us to do what we need to do without guilt to get the rest/sleep that we need.  Rested mom equals  better mom.
VERSE: Colossians 3:12.

Karla
-She tries to get up before the kids for quiet times
-She has her kids have quiet times in their rooms each day, everyone benefits from quiet/alone time.
-They try to get out of the house as a family after dinner some nights for fresh air and some fresh perspective:).
-Some of Karla's struggles include letting go of her schedule to be more present with the kids and planning enough time for meals so everyone doesn't feel so rushed.
-Karla encouraged us to memorize verses together as a family, make a prayer jar where we can give prayers to the Lord and let go.
-She shared how her husband takes her kids for a bit in the evening so she can have some breath time.
-From Sally Clarkson in Mission of Motherhood-"Choosing to be a servant mother means willingly giving up myself, my expectations, and my time to the task of mothering and choosing to believe that doing so is the best use of my time at that moment."
-She shared how she shoots Aaron a text during the day asking him to pray for her in certain situations.
-Encouraged us that it's not about perfection, but about how we respond to struggle.
-Encouraged us to share the Gospel often with our kids, to pray for their salvation always.
-Toddler occupiers: run to the door and back, have them thread cherios on yarn.
-Time flies! Write memories down.
VERSES: Psalm 51:10, Proverbs 3, Isaiah 40:31

Katrina
-She tries to make the most of the time in the car with the kids to and from school, praise music, praying, talking.
-She encouraged us to be playful with our husbands in front of the kids.
-She confessed to struggling with laziness at times.  She shared how her husband encourages her to make smaller to do lists so she feels like she really accomplishes them.
-Encouraged us that the kids won't remember if the house was clean, so spend quality time with them.
-She reminded us that we often compare our behind the scenes with others highlight reels (social media sets us up).
-Shared how they listen to VBS cds to get everyone's heart in the right place.
-Little prayers throughout the day go a long way.
-Keeps devotionals in the bathroom (get it when you can!).
VERSES: Isaiah 55:8-9, Colossians 3:23, Philippians 4:19

Creative Abiding:
-While washing dishes, rocking babies, driving.
-Praise music to start your day.
-Getting up before the kids, hard but worth it!

Heart of Motherhood- Shelli Majesky

Introduction
I'm Shelli, wife, mother of four, and needy woman of Jesus. Why am I here- all started on a sledding hill years ago. Met Sarah, we prayed for one another on the hill, and there began a sweet friendship that has been a breath of fresh air.
Not here because I am a model mother or wife, but because I am on a journey with the Lord, and He has breathed new life into me through a sweet conference I went to, I shared it with Sarah, and there we go!

Luke 7 – Simon the Pharisee and the Sinful Woman
Read the passage
Love this story, it's a beautiful contrast between two characters:
Sinning woman: She knew of Jesus great grace, and her great need. Because of this knowledge it
gave her courage to seek out Jesus, despite damaging her own reputation and more humiliation. After
finding Jesus, moved her to show great emotion and affection through washing His feet with her tears,
kissing them, and happily expending all of her resources with a life savings worth of pure perfume,
poured out on His feet!
Simon the Pharisee: He was a Pharisee, who had a traveling preacher, Jesus, into his home for dinner. This was not unusual, but rather expected, a respectable thing for him to do. He was rather dutiful in having Jesus into his home. He did not go above and beyond. He did not offer to wash Jesus feet or even order someone else to do it. Rather, he was somewhat put off and judgmental of the “sinning woman” when she did. These characters in this story, highlight two different ways of living: One is entitled, duty- on display in Simon’s life, one is happy, wasteful living- on display in the sinning woman’s life.

Two ways of living- lived out!
Entitled, duty:
We know that God calls us to faithful parenting
Parenting verse (Prov. 22:6, Train up a child n the way he should go; even when he is old he will not
depart from it.)
But what motivates that obedience?
Curious verse in Rom. 12:2, says, Do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.
We are not to be conformed to the "Pattern of the world"
 1. One pattern?- work hard and receive what you are owed
 2. Find the right techniques and work them (vending machine idea!)
 3. This develops entitlement around the results, doing just enough to get the results, like Simon.
 4. Leads to "gritted teeth" in the way I parent (example: Getting kids ready to go worship the Lord with             the church, my daughter says,” Why are you always so angry when we get ready for church?”)
 5. We are NOT to be conformed to this pattern!
 6. Mothering is not a list of formulas, techniques, or programs.
 7. Mothering is not a competition or stage where we seek our validation, or a circus where we try and               create our circus bears.
 8. The Lord has entrusted us with human beings to care for and raise up - this is a supernatural thing,                 that involves supernatural involvement! Ladies, formulas are for math, systems are for science, and                 techniques are for handwriting.
There is a different way -the way of happy, wasteful living.
The way of a renewed mind - thinking in a different way, Holy Spirit-led, gospelpaved way, not                     seeking a result, but rather a relationship.
Begins with believing in, and being satisfied with all that has been accomplished for me already in                   Jesus as Savior and Lord
My sin doesn't need to drive me to more hard work but to rushing to the feet of Jesus. ( idea of                     seeking a covering by sitting with a mom that I think has it all figured out!)
Is my first default going to Jesus! Do I believe: John 6:67-69, or James 1:5-6?
If our default becomes Jesus first, what an opportunity to take what Satan intends for harm, and                     pull the rug right out from under Satan’s schemes.
In this response, I reestablish my hope, regain my strength and courage to move forward.
Out of love, not entitlement, and feeling I am owed!
The way also allows me to see the heart of my child!
Which means I look for more than behavior in them (and support more than behavior in them)
Mac and dinner table- see your children's heart behind their words and they will be blessed.
"And that's not my child" - what did the child hear?  That they are only my child when they act rightly.

What does this look like, practically, in manner, not technique?
This means that mothering is not about the how's but rather about the why’s
How parenting is duty driven and result oriented, versus why parenting which is obedience oriented             and love driven, overflowing out of an appreciation for grace.

How parenting 
fear driven
trusts in the method
Responds quickly and usually in anger
is anxious and wrought up
sees the many adjustments in a child and corrects 1st
environment in this home lacks humility, and
therefore lacks freedom and grace

Why parenting
faith driven
trusts in the Lord
responds slowly and with clarity
is peaceful and joy filled
sees strengths, encourages them,and comes alongside of the weaknesses
environment generally swims in humility and there is safety and health

Where do you feel like you spend more time? If in how parenting, do not be discouraged. Seek Jesus,
ask Him for grace, and for His kindness to lead you to repentance. This is the who point of the story in
Luke 7. If why parenting, celebrate, but stay on your face at the feet of Jesus.

Conclusion
Jeremiah 1:11a The Lord said, “Have I not set you free for their good? Have I not pleaded for you before the enemy in the time of trouble, and in the time of distress?” This set free means: We have had all of our questions and needs met and answered in Jesus!
Acceptance - MET, He died while I was still a sinner. (Rom. 5:8)
Affirmation - MET, He laid down His life for me insecurity - MET, secured my place in His family,                through death. (1 Peter 1:1-5)
Alone - MET, I will never leave you or forsake you. (Heb. 13:5b)
Loved - MET, loved me, and gave up his life for me, took on what I deserved. (Gal. 2:20b)
Afraid - NO NEED, The Lord is my helper, I will not fear! (Heb. 13:6)

Oh ladies, we have been set free! May we position ourselves at the feet of our Savior and experience
true delight in Him, and therefore love well!

Phil. 1:6- "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

Hebrews 10:39- "But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls."

Little Moments for Smiling- Jeanette McBee

Little Moments for Smiling

A heart full of thankfulness for those moments that are small, sometimes fleeting, refreshes our soul, relaxes our muscles. Who allows these glimpses of joy? Who loves you so much and knows what makes you laugh? He created your smile and chuckles. There are times when I believe the lie that I'm not any fun and I can't remember the last time I laughed out loud. Who wants to be around me? Have you every felt that way?

The Lord God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, says you are precious and He loves you (Isaiah 43:4). 

Let's make smiling a little easier. What are some things that make you smile or laugh? This may sound funny (pun intended), but I have a "Smile File". Jokes, quips, articles I've read along the way that make me laugh out loud are here. It's a great pick-me-up. For practice, write 3 things that you enjoy doing (This is not the time to muffle a cry of "when will I ever have time just for me!!" Trust God for time to experience joy He made for you.) Here are some ideas to get you started: Listen to music that soothes or energizes; A cup of your favorite warm drink in a pretty mug; Sitting with a book for 15 minutes uninterrupted and quiet; Playing a game with your kids that you like, too; A bouquet of flowers in a prominent place; A candle, which shape, color or scent is attractive to you; A breakfast that you take care in preparing for yourself and/or your family (use the "nice" dishes and flatware, eat the food you like most, etc.).

Now maybe it goes without saying, so if you already understand this please be patient with me as I'm going to say it anyway: Making an idol of these little joys, meaning having an expectation that your "moment" has to be perfect to be enjoyed, will backfire.

Be alert, notice, recognize when God, seemingly spontaneously, creates little joys just for you.

Rustic Potato Soup- Darcy MackMiller

Rustic Potato Soup

6 c chicken broth
2 lb red potatoes, peeled & cubed
1 bay leaf
2 Tbsp butter
1 lb Kielbasa sausage, cut into 1/2 in pieces
2 large leeks, white/light green parts only, cut in 1/2 lengthwise, then sliced thin crosswise
1/2 bunch kale, stems removed & leaves cut crosswise into 1/4 inch strips (about 4 cups)
Ground black pepper

Bring broth, potatoes & bay leaf to boil in large pan over med-high heat. Reduce to med-low & simmer til potatoes are tender, 10 min or so. Discard leaf. Using masher, coarsely break up potatoes, leaving some chunks.
Melt butter in Dutch oven over med heat. Add kielbasa, stirring frequently til browned in spots, around 4 min. Add leaks, cook 4 more min til soft. Add potato mixture & kale to Dutch oven & simmer 5 min until kale's tender. Season with salt & pepper to taste. Serve & enjoy! ;)

No Work Bread- Adrienne Wier

Jim Lahey’s No-Work Bread

Makes: 1 large loaf

Time: Nearly 24 hours, almost completely unattended

This innovation—the word recipe does not do the technique justice—came from Jim Lahey, owner of Sullivan Street Bakery in New York City. Jim has created a way for home cooks (and not even ones who are serious bakers) to nearly duplicate an artisan bakery loaf, with a crackling crust, open-holed crumb, light texture, and fantastic flavor. All without kneading, fancy ingredients, or special equipment. A wet dough and slow fermentation are the keys to success, as is the baking method—a heated covered pot, which creates essentially an oven within an oven to trap steam as the bread bakes. This is the original, simplest version, though many people have tinkered with the formula since it was first published in 2006. I’m not kidding when I say the results will blow your mind. The only thing required is forethought. Ideally, you will start the dough about 24 hours before you plan to eat it; you can cut that to 12 and even 9 (see the variation), but you’ll be sacrificing some of the yeasty flavor and open crumb.

4 cups all-purpose or bread flour, plus flour for dusting

Scant 1/2teaspoon instant yeast

2 teaspoons salt

2 cups water at about 70°F

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil (optional)

Cornmeal, semolina, or wheat bran as needed

1. Combine the flour, yeast, and salt in a large bowl. Add the water and stir until blended; you’ll have a shaggy, sticky dough (add a little more water if it seems

dry). Cover the bowl with plastic wrap or put the olive oil in a second large bowl, transfer the dough to that, turn to coat with oil, and cover with plastic wrap. Let the dough rest for about 18 hours at about 70°F. The dough is ready when its surface is dotted with bubbles. Rising time will be shorter at warmer temperatures, a bit longer if your kitchen is 60–65°F.

2. Lightly flour a work surface, remove the dough, and fold once or twice; it will be soft but, once sprinkled with flour, not terribly sticky. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rest for about 15 minutes.

3. Using just enough flour to keep the dough from sticking, gently and quickly shape the dough into a ball. Generously coat a cotton (not terry cloth) towel with

cornmeal or wheat bran (or use a silicone baking mat); put the dough seam side down on the towel and dust with more flour or cornmeal. Cover with another cotton towel (or plastic wrap) and let rise for about 2 hours. When it’s ready, the dough will be more than doubled in size and won’t spring back readily when poked with your finger.

4. At least a half hour before the dough is ready, heat the oven to 450°F. Put a 3- to 4-quart covered pot (with the cover)—it may be cast-iron, enamel, Pyrex, or ceramic—in the oven as it heats. When the dough is ready, carefully remove the pot from the oven and turn the dough over into the pot, seam side up. (Slide your hand under the towel and just turn the dough over into the pot; it’s messy, and it probably won’t fall in artfully, but it will straighten out as it bakes.) Cover with the lid and bake for 30 minutes, then remove the lid and bake for another 20 to 30 minutes, until the loaf is beautifully browned. (If at any point the dough starts to smell scorched, lower the heat a bit.) Remove the bread with a spatula or tongs and cool on a rack for at least 30 minutes before slicing.

No-Work Bread, Sped Up. Reduce the initial rise to 8 hours; skip the 15-minute resting period and just shape the dough as in Step 3. Proceed immediately to Step 4.

Homemade Carmel Corn- Jill Curry

Pop your popcorn

Carmel Corn

In a sauce pan melt 1/2 cup butter, 1/4 cup karo, 1cup brown sugar. Bring to a boil. Boil for 4 min stirring continually. Remove from heat. Add 1/2 tsp baking soda and 1 tsp vanilla. Stir and pour over popcorn. 

Jill curry

Creamy Chicken and Wild Rice Soup- Joani Parrish

Ingredients:
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
2 carrots chopped
2 celery chopped
1 onion
1 1/2 cup frozen green beans
1 cup frozen corn
2 cloves of garlic
2 cups of cooked wild rice or 1 cup uncooked
4 cups chicken broth
3 cups milk
Salt, pepper, and parsley to taste

Directions:
   1. Sauté celery, carrots, onions, green beans, corn, garlic, and seasonings, in evoo until softened.
   2. Cover with chicken broth and boil chicken and veggies.
   3. When chicken is cooked through remove and cube or shred.
   4. Add rice, milk and cook on low til rice is done and sauce has thickened. Do not let milk boil. You can also add a little flour to help it thicken.

~I like to serve with warm homemade biscuits or in bread bowls. I hope you enjoy!

Fun Fall Giveaway!

*GIVEAWAY NOW CLOSED! DRAWING TOMORROW!

Who doesn't love a giveaway?!  In celebration of this beautiful fall season that's upon us and the start of our new year at Real Moms, I have something special to give away!  Is this ceramic owl candle holder not adorable?  And how bout some Harvest spice tea lights to go inside him?  And what's fall without your favorite hot drink on a crisp morning?  This mug is large, just the way I like it:).

How to enter:

1.  Leave a comment on this post telling us what you love about fall and where you plan to put this owl should you win.  This will get you one entry.

2. For three extra entries, simply submit something for the blog. (Recipe, craft idea, a verse or verses that have spoken to you lately, what God is teaching you.) Email them to me at: sarah.longoria4@gmail.com

*The giveaway will close on 9/16/13  night at 8pm (The night before our next Real Moms meeting).  The giveaway drawing will happen at our next meeting on Sept. 17th.

Happy fall! May you find, in this season of coziness, a renewed desire to draw near to your Savior and His Word.

Pastor Pep Talk- Aaron LeDuc

Pastor Aaron both encouraged and challenged us this morning in our calling of motherhood.  He first asked us to put the following priorities in the order our culture puts them in for women.

Cultural Priorities

- College (3)
- Entertainment (2)
- Travel (5)
- Career (4)
- Good looks (1)
- Marriage (6)
- Motherhood (7)

The numbers I've placed next to each is the priority order our table put them in, again the order is according to popular culture.  He pointed out how out of order this cultural order is with God's priorities for us as women, that we are fighting this cultural order on hostel ground.  He shared how comedian Jim Gaffigan talks about the way culture makes fun of or feels sorry for large families.  Add to this against-the-current battle we face the fact that motherhood is exhausting!  He jokingly gave this quote in regards to the exhaustion of motherhood:

"Imagine you're drowning and someone throws you a baby".

All joking aside, he then encouraged us that the deep rest we are looking for can only be found in Jesus, not in the things the world promises. He will give us deep rest when we abide in Him, but He also calls us to hard work in a hostel world.

In Genesis 3:15 we see the first hope of the Gospel in God's promise that the Savior will come through Eve's lineage.  In other words, children have to happen to lead to Jesus.  God could have chosen any way to put on flesh, but He chose to come through a mother, Mary.  Motherhood is a calling, the key mechanism God uses to save lost sinners.

He reminded us that motherhood is not about you, it's about the glory of God!  It's a call to full time ministry, laying your life down for His use and Glory.

Application Points

1. Lay down your life for the Gospel to your children.  Preach to them with your life.  You are always representing the Gospel to your children, the question you have to ask yourself is how well are you doing?
- Are you resentful in your role?  Your kids know where they stand with you and how you feel about them without words.
- Do you love your kids the way Christ loves you?  You may be able to fake it in front of others, but how do you love them behind closed doors?
* They know if you value their lives above your own. The call on EVERY Christian is to come and die.

2.  Know the Word. Proverbs 22:16 talks about folly being bound up in the heart of a child.  God's Word, He Himself has the power to penetrate hearts and save.  It requires repeated diligence to point our children towards fear of the Lord.  When we abide in the Word, it overflows.
- Live life with your little "cyclones" and disciple them always by knowing the Word.

3.  Trust Jesus. It's a daily act of faith, we often don't get to see results, but trust Jesus, it's His work through you! Believe His promises.  Aaron shared how Isaiah had a similar challenge as he looked at the ministry He'd been given. 

Isaiah 49:4- "But I said, “I have labored in vain; I have spent my strength for nothing at all. Yet what is due me is in the Lord’s hand, and my reward is with my God.”

It was such a joy to hear from the Lord through Aaron this morning.  We hope to see you all on September 17th!

Mom Minute- Lessons From my Dad- Joani Parrish

Lessons from my Dad

  I'm not sure if many of you know, but my dad passed away last year. During this time
I have spent a lot of time reflecting on what skills and lessons in life he taught me. My
dad’s favorite quote, one I heard him say almost every single day of my life, was "You
accept me for the pain in the butt I am and I will accept you for the pain in the butt you
are." (I'm using nicer language, because my Dad was a Marine for 40 years and his
choice of words would not be socially acceptable for a REAL Moms blog post.) My Dad
said this to me for 26 years. Every time I was exasperated with him, when his friends
were giving him a hard time, even to the grocery store clerk checking out his bags (My
Dad could be a pain in the butt). I heard him say this ALL the time. I also watched him
live this way.

 Shortly after he died a friend asked me, "What is the main thing you will miss about
him?" I'm not sure if I could articulate very well at that point because I was so overcome
with absolutely everything I was going to miss about him, but now if you asked me I
would say it was: his unconditional love and support.
 Most recently I missed him when we started foster care. I could hear my Dad
building me up and encouraging me, saying things like "Wow, that's amazing!" or "You
guys are going to be great!" or "Gosh! I wish I had grown up in a home as sweet and
loving as yours." He said things like this ALL the time. He would not say, "Gosh! you
guys are going to need a bigger car" or "Isn't this going to be really hard on your
biological children?" I missed him. I missed him a lot.

 He was one of those people who knew how to just be happy for someone and not put
fears or doubts in their mind. If we bought a bigger house he would not say, "Oh are
you sure that it's not too much?" He would say "That's awesome! I can't wait to see it!"
He would truly mean it. It's not that he didn't have any concerns about me, but he never
focused on the areas in my life he was concerned about. I think he realized the world
has enough people to question you, it has enough people to make you feel concerned
about your actions, it has enough people to place fears and worries and doubts in your
mind. He made me feel like I could do anything or be anyone I wanted to be.

 This lesson he taught me has been such a gift in my life. It gave me confidence
when I was a loner in high school, it gave me courage to get married and not fear the
constant stream of divorces that plagues my family. Many of my choices and the
confidence I can put in them are because of his unconditional love and acceptance.
Most importantly, it has greatly affected my view of God. Rather than thinking of God as
someone constantly judging my actions, I hear God as an unconditional lover of my
weary broken soul. He was the kind of person I want to be, the kind of friend, wife, and
mother I want to be, and with the grace of God I hope to see him someday and thank
him.

~Joani

Mom Minute- Danielle

I don’t have to be Super Mom

As I’ve been thinking through what God has been teaching me lately, the phrase ‘I don’t have to be Super Mom’ keeps coming to my mind. I don’t know about the rest of you, but the transition to motherhood has brought with it a lot of humility for me. God has graciously given Lucas and I two babies born only 14 months apart, and our babies just turned 2 and 1 this summer! As the last few months have provided more time to breathe, I’ve had time to reflect on God’s faithfulness to me this past year, and I wanted to share briefly about some things I’ve learned.

Being a mom of young ones has really opened my eyes to how self-sufficient I try to be! No other season of life has brought such weariness, confusion, and humility for me (along with a lot of joy!!), but God has been kind and faithful to show me how desperately I want to run my life. God has helped me to slowly start to lay down my idols of independence, control, and comfort, and to see that there really is more joy in a life marked by dependence and humility!

I’ve also found myself desperate to try to be a ‘super mom’ in the midst of all the newness of this new season.  I feel like I am constantly bombarded with messages that cause me to feel like a failure if nursing doesn’t go perfectly, if I feed my kids anything but organic food, if my kids aren’t always dressed super cute or having perfect attitudes, if my house isn’t perfectly clean, etc etc. Can anyone else relate to this feeling?? After months of attempting to be the kind of mom I thought everybody secretly expected of me, I’m finally understanding the Gospel more and how it relates to motherhood. What’s actually true of me is that I am terribly sinful and that I will continue to be in this life. I will never be a perfect mother, and I’ll never live up to all the expectations I try to place on myself. BUT, I’ve found myself more hopeful than ever in a God who is constantly redeeming my life – in all its weakness and sin – and He’s working out His purposes in my life and in my children’s life for His glory.  And now, there’s also hope for me to be a mom who feeds her babies good food (or whatever!) because I want to love them and take care of them, and not because I need to do it to earn Jesus’s favor or to avoid the condemnation of my peers or myself. So, if anyone is actually reading this J, my hope for this fall season is to find myself delighting in my weakness because I do have a super, perfect, wonderful, redeeming Savior.

Also, listed below are a few quotes from Elyse Fitzpatrick that I have loved lately! Thanks for reading!

Danielle Yaege

“Only the Gospel will warm your affections so that you will long for an opportunity to be near Him, to rest your head on His chest, to feel the warmth of His nearness, to let Him put His arms around your drooping shoulders and say, ‘I’m here. You’re mine. Soon these interposing years will end, and your faith will be sight. Stay here by Me for a while and let me give you My strength. See how I love you.’” (Comforts from the Cross)

“…He has promised to use everything in your life for your good and His glory. This is the kind of watchful, fatherly love He has for you. He is the perfect parent, and this record of perfection has been transferred to you, if you have put your trust in Him. Your children’s salvation doesn’t depend on you any more than your own salvation did. He’s a wonderful Father. You can rest in His everlasting arms-now.” (Give them Grace)

You Will Blink

I'm sure you've heard it said that you will blink and your babies will be heading off to college.  I know I've heard it a bunch and if I'm honest, there have been a few weary days when the saying makes me do rapid blinks in joke!  But friends, as my first baby turned nine a couple of weeks ago, the saying started to really sink in and it's not so funny anymore.  This precious little bundle, who kept me up countless nights and prevented many household chores from being accomplished, is now this beautiful nine year old who actually helps with chores and sleeps perfectly every night.  This once needy baby now has completely different needs and gives me completely unexpected joy through our maturing relationship.  I write all this to encourage you in days that seem to drag.  The days may seem to drag, but the years really do fly.  And even though you might not be able to imagine it now, you may really want to go back in time some day, even if just for a moment to inhale that newborn smell or squeeze that rascally toddler, so ask God to help you find the joy in "now", I know that's my prayer every day. ---Sarah

Summer Highlights

Here are a few pictures from a couple of our Real Moms summer park dates, submitted by Jenny McElwain.  If you have similar pictures from our summer events, please email them to me and I will add them to this post.

Boredom Buster- Put Them to Work!

We all loathe the sentiment our kids spout far too easily during the summer, "I'm bored!"  Maybe you've run out of paper for them to cut or new books to capture their attention for more than a minute.  Or maybe the cartoons have been on a little too long.  Whatever the case, I've discovered something that my two and a half year old loves to do, and I get to teach her something valuable in the process, a win, win!  When her older siblings are busy and I just can't be her entertainer, I put her to work... and she loves it.  She especially loves the activity pictured here.  A bucket of water with a drop or two of dish soap and a squeegee is all you need. I tell her I really need her to clean the house walls, that it would really help mommy and make the house look so nice.  She will stay at this activity for an hour if I let her!  Another indoor cleaning task she loves is wiping down the table and chairs with a little bucket with soapy water and a small sponge she can easily squeeze out.  She also loves to help me unload the dishwasher.  Work looks like fun until they think otherwise, so go with it!  Happy boredom busting!  --- Sarah L.

Free 4x6 Printable Scriptures!

A friend of mine shared this website with me, so I thought I'd pass it along. These are adorable 4x6 scripture prints for a girls room. If you use them, please send me a picture of how you display them in your daughter's room so I can share the idea on the blog. A few ideas I had are a collage frame, pinned on a cork board, or hanging on cute clips on a string.

http://www.frenchpressmornings.com/p/encouraging-wednesdays.html?m=1

Summer Passport 2013

Have a great summer sisters!  And we'll see you at our park dates!

Summer Passport: https://docs.google.com/file/d/0BwLw3q-PedD0R0tHMmdSY3V5SFU/edit?usp=sharing

Packet "Stuck Inside": https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0BwLw3q-PedD0eWVlelRiMkUzMnc&usp=sharing

Packet "Jungle Days" https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0BwLw3q-PedD0WHRrTUc3Nk96b3c&usp=sharing

Packet "Backyard Campout" https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0BwLw3q-PedD0MGpKWUxub09Balk&usp=sharing

Love, The Servant Team

Snow With Sprinkles- By Colleen Reynolds

The kids spent most of the morning making crafts and coloring, but

come mid-morning they were ready for a snack: snow with sprinkles!
Simply scoop some clean snow into a bowl and top with sprinkles.  The
kids think it is a real treat!  We got this idea from Judy Haywood and
now every time is snows we have to get out the sprinkles.   Hope you
have a great day!

Bring the Snow Inside!- By Melinda Crenshaw

For little ones not quite ready to go out in the snow (or moms not up for it), bring the snow inside! Bring a bowl full of snow in the kitchen and let the kids play with bowls, spoons, measuring cups dipping snow.

Two Soups, To Warm You From the Inside Out!- By Sarah Longoria

Sausage, Chickpea, and Potato Soup

*My kids and husband devour this, always wanting seconds and thirds!

• 1 cup dried chickpeas (I use a 14oz can of chickpeas, sometimes two, depends on how much you like chickpeas)
• Salt
• ½ pound fresh Italian Sausage (I use a pound, usually hot)
• 1 tablespoon fresh rosemary leaves, minced
• 3 garlic cloves
• 4 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 small onion, peeled and sliced (½ cup)
• ¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 14 ounce can crushed Italian Plum tomatoes (I use a 28 ounce can, and sometimes throw in another 14 oz can of diced tomatoes)
• ¾ pound russet potatoes, peeled and cut into ½ inch cubes
• 6 cups chicken broth (I usually use one box, about 4 cups, of Swanson's broth)
• Toasts of Tuscan bread, rubbed with garlic

If you are using dried chickpeas, bring water to a boil in a 4-quart pot and pour it over the chickpeas and 1 tablespoon salt (the salt is very important, helping the peas to soften). Soak overnight. Drain and pour boiling water over them. Cover and cook for 45 minutes or until tender.

Remove the casing of the sausage and crumble the sausage with the rosemary and one garlic clove. Heat one tablespoon of the oil in a 6-quart heavy-bottomed pot and add the sausage with the garlic clove. Sauté for a few minutes, stirring all the while. Transfer the sausage to a plate and discard the garlic.

Heat the remaining 3 tablespoons olive oil in the pot. Add the onion and the last two crushed garlic cloves and the red pepper flakes; stir for 5 minutes occasionally. When the onion turns a rich tawny color, stir in the tomatoes. Cover, reduce the heat and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring once in a while. Add the chickpeas, potatoes, and the reserved sausage; sprinkle with 2 teaspoons salt. Pour the broth in the pot and bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and cook at a gentle boil for 40 minutes or until the potatoes are very tender.

Variation: If desired, mash several potato cubes in the soup to thicken.

Taste and correct seasoning before serving. Place a toast rubbed with garlic in each soup plate; pour the soup over the bread and dribble olive oil on top of the soup.

Serves 6-8

Lentil Soup

*Lentils have many healthy properties, one of which is high iron.  Kids and adults alike need more iron, if you're feeling sluggish, especially during your monthly friend, try this soup!

• 2 tablespoons olive oil, plus extra for drizzling
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 2 carrots, peeled and chopped
• 2 celery stalks, chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, chopped
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1 (14 1/2-ounce) can diced tomatoes
• 1 pound lentils (approximately 1 1/4 cups)
• 11 cups low-salt chicken broth
• 4 to 6 fresh thyme sprigs
• 2/3 cup dried elbow pasta
• 1 cup shredded Parmesan

Directions

Heat the oil in a heavy large pot over medium heat. Add the onion, carrots, and celery. Add the garlic, salt, and pepper and saute until all the vegetables are tender, about 5 to 8 minutes. Add the tomatoes with their juices. Simmer until the juices evaporate a little and the tomatoes break down, stirring occasionally, about 8 minutes. Add the lentils and mix to coat. Add the broth and stir. Add the thyme sprigs. Bring to a boil over high heat. Cover and simmer over low heat until the lentils are almost tender, about 30 minutes.