Real Moms

Hello, wonderful ladies!  This blog post is to share all about the awesome talk that our friend, Lindsey Ray, gave to our Real Mom's group on January 7th regarding ANGER.  All about how it manifests itself in our hearts and ultimately impacts our home and family and best of all - how to battle it!  Thank you, Jesus for the hope that is found in you!

Here are the notes and verses to read and meditate on to help us with this battle!

1. A  little on Anger
      A. Anger is an outward expression of an inner sin that needs to be addressed.
          1. Pride - wanting to be in control of the situation or comparing (I am not as good as so and so or I have it all figured out)
          2. Discontentment - Trial or Waiting on God to answer a prayer
          3. Wrong goals - "Me" Centered and wanting convenience in your day
          4. Fear/Lack of trust in God - Possibly over the hearts of your children or a break through in sin
          5. Claiming perceived rights - Things we think we have a right to but aren't promised in Scripture
          6. Unforgiving hearts - Over anyone and specifically remembering to forgive our children for sin that they caused against us that may have led to bitterness in your heart.
     B. Anger is more than "Mt. Mama" eruptions (when it boils over)
          1. Typically think of "fits of rage"
          2. Can also be resentful attitudes, self-pity, irritability, controlling/demanding actions, unkind worlds, sarcasm, the silent treatment, withdrawing, gossiping/venting, etc.
     C. The consequences of anger affect more than just us.
          1. Cause emotional/physical pain (Gen. 4:6-8)
          2. Leaders to more anger (Proverbs 15:1 and 18, Proverbs 17:14, Proverbs 22:24-25)
          3. Leaves us open to further attack (Ephesians 4:26-27, Proverbs 25:28) - Like a city without walls is a mans heart which is open to attack and Satan does want to get a foothold!
          4. Does NOT result in the righteousness of God (James 1:19-20, 3:17-18) - behavior can and may change but not the heart.
          5. Leads us to isolate ourselves - "secret battle". Satan wants us to be along and open to attack.

2. My Self-Sufficiency Cycle
      A. Starts with Trust/Pride in Self Determination then goes to Walking in your own strength to Anger Trigger to Responding with Anger to Guilt to A vow to work harder.  Circular cycle that can go on and on and on if we are not fighting it and trusting/seeking the Lord.

      B. Problems with this Self-Sufficiency Cycle
           1. Focus is on ME - God allows trials to refine us and make us more like him. They are tools to draw us closer to Him!
           2. Not accepting God's plan for your life.
           3. Battling sin with a sinful nature (Romans 7:18-20)

3. Grace-Sufficiency Cycle
     A. The Hope: Walk by the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-17) through God's sufficient grace (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) This is God's power living in us to battle sin WITH us!
     B. Starts with a Relationship with Jesus Christ and goes to Daily Communion to Growing in Wisdom and Faith to Trusting in God's Plan for Your Life to Preparing the Mind for Action to Accountability to Recognizing Weakness/Pray for God's Strength to Anger Trigger to Resisting the Devil to Trusting that God WILL strengthen/confirm and protect to Giving Thanks
     C. Starts with knowing Jesus and spending time with Him.
     D. Leads us to growing in wisdom and faith (Col. 2:3, 1 Peter 2:2, John 15:3-8)
     E. Trusting in God's Plan (Romans 8:28-29, Jeremiah 29:11)
     F. Prepare your minds for Action (Ephesians 6:12-18, 1 Peter 1:13-14, 5:8-9. Col. 4:2, Philippians 4:8-9)
          1. Identify and confess any root sins
          2. Identify and confess any anger triggers and keep watch for them!
          3. Surrender your day to God - Hid plan may not be your plan.
          4. Pray and mediate through Scripture (Col. 3:12-17, Isaiah 26:3)
          5. Involve a prayer partner
          6. Dwell on good things (Philippians 4:8-9
     G. Recognize your weakness/Pray for Strength (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Hebrews 4:16)
     H. Resist the Devil (James 4:7) - We have the power of the Spirit in us!
           1. Pray right away
           2. Resist the temptation of reacting immediately
           3. Take a break
           4. Deal with parenting issues right away, tag team if possible.
     I. God will confirm, protect and strengthen (Ephesians 6:13, Philippians 4:13, Philippians 2:12-13, 1 Corinthians 10:13)
     J. We give thanks and grow in wisdom and faith (2 Corinthians 4:14-15, Hebrews 13:15)

4. Other Helpful Tips
     A. Be proactive vs. reactive in parenting
     B. Seek forgiveness from kids/husband
     C. Be forgiving of our kids
     D. Have margins in your life (weekly, monthly, yearly)
     E. Look for hidden idols in your life (perfect home, schedules, etc.). These are things that seem like good things but actually create bondage.
     F. Capture, Confess, Claim ( the power of the Holy Spirit), Transform your thinking, Repeat

5. Couple notes of encouragement!
    A. God can use us no matter our mistakes (example of Saul becoming Paul)
    B. God won't leave us here.  (Philippians 1:6-7)